There’s something about after the rain that’s just… better.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/kcyalao/
Good weekend.
| J: | yay! |
| J: | i'm so fucking bored |
| And Brian thinks I'M vulgar. I remember at a coffee shop, Jean was telling me about her "huge fucking plate" of food. A minute later, I mentioned service was "so fucking slow." Brian gave me a death glare and told me not to cuss because there were kids around. UM WHY IS JEAN SO INNOCENT. He said he didn't hear her cuss. I think it's because she's little and cute. Fuck. | |
| I told him later how vulgar Jean really is, and he just couldn't believe it. |
Life is pretty great, but sometimes I step back and think, “What is the point?” It mostly happens when I look at strangers and think of what they are living for. I would never know, of course, but why do they — why do we work day in/day out? To be comfortable in the future? What about the present? I guess we don’t notice how things improve over time (started from the bottom now we’re hea!), but I feel like I should when I take that step back. I see it… but what is the point again…?
This is not a suicidal thought in MY mind, but some people have been uncomfortable when I tell them that one day, I’ll just feel like I’m ready to stop. Like at age 40, “Okay guys, I think I’m done!” And just stop. I wouldn’t want to kill myself, I just wouldn’t want to be. I’m tired now, how tired will I be in the future? It is tiresome to exist, and I just can’t handle it!!
| Me: | I haven't been as vulgar since I started dating you. |
| Brian: | Fine, go ahead and cuss. Hashtag no filter! |
It’s kind of depressing. I purposely left my phone at home the other day when I went out to eat, and it was SO LIBERATING. But even though I know it feels so good, why do I feel the need to go back to it? Is there a self-help program where I can wean myself from FB, Twitter, Instagram, etc.?
Lifelong question answered…. This happens to me with chocolate and most fruits.