I’ve been observing a lot of people. And learning how to make conversation. I just have to copy what they say (in a different group of people, of course). A lot of times, I’m uncomfortable explaining myself. But then I hear someone tell a story — and when a new person walks into the room, they say, “I was just telling ____ that…” and they repeat their story. And it doesn’t sound awkward at all! It sounds normal. You’re just including another person.
I feel awkward just explaining why I did something, like, “oops, I accidentally knocked over my pen!” It just feels weird to explain what just happened. So I stay quiet, and people are just like ?? ?? ??
I was at the nail salon when a lady came in and started narrating her whole day to her manicurist. It might just be a white woman talking to a fobby Asian woman thing though. I’ve seen a lot of white ladies talk to my mom non-stop because my mom just nods and listens and laughs. I don’t see them talk that way to other people they know. They TALK to them, but I can hear the difference in the details when they explain something.
Anyway. I’ve started narrating what I’m doing to fill the awkward silence when people are waiting on me to open a document/connect to a network/get a notebook out. “I think it’s here somewhere… oh, there it is. Okay, let’s see…”
But it’s so physically draining to talk when you don’t want to… I could never be an extrovert.